Yankees fear loss of Randy Levine would deal deathknell blow to organization

It's hard to imagine the Yankees without the ol' red-topped skipper, Randy Levine, and his steady hand in the till. But that's the nightmare scenario facing us on this cold winter evening.

Our President will be probed by Bud Selig for an off-hand comment in today's introduction of Jacoby Ellsbury as the Yankees' new ambassador to Massachusetts. President Levine said the Yankees would give a 10-year contract to Mike Trout, if they ever get the chance. That's tampering. And now, President Levine may have to pay the price.

Hold on, folks... I know you're upset... Try to keep it together... Just the thought of losing our President... it hurts... Never have I imagined the world without the Randy Levine red curls shouting, "I know Derek Jeter"  Now... we might lose him? How will we survive? All is lost. ALL IS LOST.

But... if he must be banned, so be it. When Bud Selig probes you, he probes you. If anyone has dirt on Randy, I know for a fact that MLB has a bank account for just such purchases.